I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball I want someone else to go chase it.
There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that to me resembles...
After all what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you...
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal...
People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements.
Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the...
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation the first things to be...
Never wear anything that panics the cat.
You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.
There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more...
Anyway no drug not even alcohol causes the fundamental ills of society. If...
Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the...
I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter...
One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this...
No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you...
Nobody likes insurance companies especially health insurance companies.
Little islands of human happiness peace and prosperity are so exceptional...
Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.
The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to...
If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health slow...
The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own...
We need a government alas because of the nature of humans.
What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test...
Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit...
Government proposes bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose...
If government were a product selling it would be illegal.
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
Whatever it is that the government does sensible Americans would prefer that...
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter...
Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle...
Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any...
The good news is that according to the Obama administration the rich will...
Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights....
As I get older all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children...
Never fight an inanimate object.
Because of their size parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
Everybody knows how to raise children except the people who have them.
A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then...
My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish...
Family love is messy clinging and of an annoying and repetitive pattern...
The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows...
Ideology politics and journalism which luxuriate in failure are impotent...
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.'...
I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good...
Positive rights are the right to shelter the right to education the right...
Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept...
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents worried...
All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
